Kidnapped!

As it is my 19th wedding anniversary this week, I thought I’d re-share a story I wrote 5 years ago. It’s a fun one and still makes me laugh!

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This is a true story. A true story about me–ON my wedding day.
I’m writing this, not as a serious piece or wannabe public service announcement, but to make you have a little chuckle at my expense.
You see, today is my 14th wedding anniversary.
Ah, the memories…

Here’s the things that stick out most in my mind when I think back on my wedding day:
It was hot. REALLY hot (just like today!). And humid.

The church we were married in was small and not air conditioned. Plus we were brainiacs and chose to get married at 2 in the afternoon on a mid-July day. Why not, right?

While I was waiting for my “big moment” after getting my wedding dress on, I waited in a basement room of the church, parked in front of a box fan with my dress hiked up over my knees. I was such a classy bride. Somehow a photo of this did not make it into our wedding album.

When my handsome groom was repeating his vows, I focused on a droplet of sweat that was making its way down his nose and hung on the end of it. Oh, and a fly buzzing around his head. Not because I’m shallow or flippant about my marriage, but because I was nervous about being in front of the crowd watching us. Something to focus on, you know?

Apparently he was just as nervous because when ring time rolled around, he was trying to put his ring on me. Um, it was way too big. Finally we figured it out and put the correct ones on each other. See, I told you we were brainiacs.

Since our reception was outside under a big rented tent, my wonderful parents had arranged for buckets of water ice to be available as a snack while we had our pictures done. People LOVED this idea. You know, in that awkward time span after a wedding while you’re waiting for the real food to start.

During cake time we were so NOT nice and sweet. Somehow I ended up with wedding cake up in my eye. A picture of this is in our wedding album. We kissed afterwards, so it’s all good.

After the cake and all that stuff, we were just about getting ready to go in, get changed into real clothes, and finally leave for our honeymoon. Just at that moment, my Aunt Beverly called us over to tell us something. That’s when the kidnapping occurred.

Yep, it’s really true. I was actually kidnapped on my wedding day.
Now, before I tell anymore, I have to explain a little more about who kidnapped me. To fully appreciate the story, you have to get a word picture of my uncles.
My Dad comes from a long line of farmers. So, pretty much 95% of his family is involved with farming somehow. And, at 6’6″, my Dad is the “little” one of his brothers. They’re both just about that tall, but much bigger than him. Not fat, just big and burly and farm-boy strong. They also have always had the mountain man beards going on, sorta like these guys.

duck-dynasty-stars-660-ap

Anyway, are you getting a picture in your head?

Good, because here’s what happened next….

My Aunt Beverly calls us over. At that moment, a friend of ours (also extremely big and burly) grabs my new husband from behind. I was all like “What the…?” when I feel myself being lifted up by my elbows and see my Uncle Wayne on one side and my Uncle Frog (his real name’s Bob, by the way but I’ve always known him as Frog) on the either side of me, both with an iron grip on my arms. They half toss me (only because they’re super strong;)) into my Uncle Frog’s farm pickup. “Well Raquel Welch, (that’s been Frog’s nickname for me since I was little. I have no idea why, other than the fact that my name’s Rachel. Rachel, Raquel. He also calls my Dad Jesse James and my brother Honky Baloney. Everyone gets a cool nickname in this family.) we’re going to go for a ride.” Before I know it, we’re pulling out the parking lot of the church, and I still have no earthly clue what’s going on.

If you had a good picture of what Uncle Frog looks like, I’m sure you can imagine his pickup. Yes, my friends, I spent a small part of my wedding day sitting crunched (in my wedding dress on a 98 degree day, no less) between my mountain man uncles, gear shift in between my knees, and old Mountain Dew and green Skoal cans rolling around my feet. Oh, and baler twine and straw flapping around the back.

See, I told you I was a classy bride.

Anyhow, they start driving around the back roads near the church that I was married in, discussing crops and the weather like they hadn’t just snatched a newly married bride a mere 5 minutes before. I still had no idea what the heck was happening, but since I’m usually an easy going person, I was rolling with it. After a few miles, they looped back around to the church parking lot. They slow down and drive by the reception tent, where I see the guy who had held down my groom with a microphone in his hand.

“Did they get enough money yet?” one of my uncles hollers out the rolled-down window. “Nope, keep driving!” the other guy yells back. I also see my husband with a hat in his hand and a miffed expression on his face. Okay, so I’m starting to get a clue now. Apparently I’m being held for ransom. Why, I have no idea. But all of our wedding guests look like they’re enjoying themselves (as much as you can on such a hot day), so I guess it’s all some kind of big joke.

After more riding around and discussing farming, we pulled back around to the church and they were informed that I could be released now. I hop out of the truck in my wedding dress and see what’s up.

So, I guess my man had to go around and ask the guests for money to buy back his bride, then they planned to give us the money to spend on our honeymoon. My poor husband, who is very proud, especially when it comes to money, was mortified. Every time my uncles see him, they still love to tease him about it.

Right after this happened, and even for months afterward when the subject of our wedding comes up, people thought we were somehow in on their plan. A couple of people were like, “Rachel, you must be a good actress, because you looked really surprised.” Um, that’s because I WAS. Definitely no acting going on here.

So, there you have it folks. How I was kidnapped on my wedding day. It’s a pretty funny memory, and our kids just recently heard the story.

A day that will live in infamy. Ha ha, not really.

This picture was snapped a little while after, when we really WERE leaving for our honeymoon. This is one of my absolute favorite wedding day pictures. I’m sure we were like “Finally!”

wedding-pic-002

Thanks for tuning in!
Rachel

9 Out Of 10

I love my husband’s hands.

His hands have served so many in numerous ways over the years…

They gently held each of our 5 children as newborns, even before I did.

They worked hard on his family farm growing up, whether tending to animals, crops, or equipment.

They have tirelessly worked to provide for our family throughout our marriage.

They have held my own thousands of times, whether to give me a quick squeeze, to comfort me, or as we have prayed together.

They have cooked many Sunday breakfasts with our kids for years and know how to whip up some superb meals.

They have humbly served in ways that many don’t even know about or realize at our church.

His hands may not be what would be considered “beautiful” to some people, but they are beautiful to me.  They are calloused, thick, and scarred from various little injuries, especially from his work as a butcher. His right hand has a bump in it from a break that never healed properly years ago. He has a big scar on one thumb from slicing it really deep on a band saw when making a crib for our first born.

After an unfortunate mowing accident this past weekend, he now has only 9 fingers. After a surgery to remove more bone and pull a layer of skin around what is left, that hand is now swaddled in layers of dressing. We haven’t seen the “final product” post-surgery, but have been warned that it will be startling to see when the dressing and sutures are removed. I don’t care. It may be ugly, but his hands will still be beautiful to me.

photo (19)
This picture was taken a few days before the accident. He took it upon himself to carve really awesome walking sticks for every kid at our upcoming VBS.

They are the hands of a godly man who has a servant’s heart more than anyone else I know. Someone who takes it seriously to be the “hands and feet of Jesus” on this earth as they show love to others in practical ways. The hands of the one who I know loves me like crazy.

Nope, no matter what happens, those hands will always be beautiful to me.

***Forgive me for waxing poetic about this. Our anniversary is next week, and with the loss of his finger, I just got to thinking about how much I appreciate the work of his hands. A serious post, but we had lots of humorous moments within the whole accident/severed finger  story. Maybe I’ll share them another time! ****

Marriage According to our Maker

Last weekend my husband and I attended the wedding of a beautiful young couple. Though we didn’t really know the bride well, we knew the groom and have watched him grow into a wonderful, godly young man over the years we have attended our church. It was a beautiful service. Not only did I admire the decorations and other little touches that an artsy person like me would take note of, but I was especially moved by the service and ceremony itself.  I found myself blinking back tears a few times, and I know I’m not the only one there who was. Though I am an emotional female, I can tell you that everyone in that room could feel the absolute rightness of this union, the devotion of these young people, and the sense that God’s presence and His very hand was on this couple as they vowed themselves to one another.  It was as it was absolutely meant to be, exactly how God ordained it from the beginning. It was like even the witnesses in the pews were all standing on holy ground there together, even if for a brief moment. I was tucked in next to my own groom of 16 years during the service, reflective of my own marriage and the sacred covenant that marriage is supposed to be.

When we unselfishly love and live for our husband we glorify Christ and teach the world the true role of the Christian wife.

Fast forward almost a week. I get the dramatic “landmark” news about the Supreme Court’s decision regarding same sex couples and marriage rights. I see pictures of people cheering and waving rainbow-striped and equal sign flags. I see quotes and tweets and posts about how wonderful this all is, even from our own president.

I, on the other hand, felt sickened and downright sad. I felt nauseous.

I am not cheering about this decision, I am grieved by it.

 And if my sinful old self is grieved by it, our Creator who is Holy must be grieved more than we can imagine. Especially since He specifically created a man, THEN a woman—on purpose!!

Lord God said It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. - Genesis 2:18

My knee-jerk reaction may be to go on a rant about all manner of sinfulness and how the world seems to be” going to hell in a handbasket,” as the old saying goes. It sure feels that way some days. I could really knock out quite a heated post detailing my views.  However, I’m sure you already know how I feel by what you’ve read so far. I’m sure you’ve also read many articles by others blasting everyone who believes differently than they do. I don’t think that I could change your mind, try as I might. Just like you’re not going to convince me that gay marriage and the whole homosexuality issue is okay. Or changing one’s gender is okay. (Had to throw that one in there!)

Only God himself can change a heart.

So why the heck am I writing this?

I am doing this to remind us all of what marriage is supposed to be…not according to a twisted cultural trend, or what some friends or family think, or what some judges in Washington vote on 5-4.

Today I am focusing on what our God, the one who created you and me and all of humanity, has intended for us.

Today, instead of dwelling on my churned up emotions about everything in the news, instead of feeling downright ill at the sight of our White House lit up in rainbow hues, I am reminding myself and all who read this what YOUR CREATOR intended this institution to be all about.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:24. <3

Check out Chalkboard Matthew 19:6 Printable- Instant Download on gingersnapinvites

My favorite bible verse: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves "a cord of three strands is not easily broken" (this represents a husband & wife & God)

Easter Monday we go to picnic lunch by the Ocean to see the native chocplate lilies here on the Canadian Gulf Island B C. AMEN  ciao! newport beach: sunday verse

My signs, quotes and bible verses are carefully constructed, entirely hand-painted and hand-lettered (no vinyl), and stained in my own special

Great marriage quote from the bible

it's not for my comfort, but making me more and more like Christ.

It was God himself who united a man and a woman in marriage -Genesis 2.24

I know I will probably get some responses to this. Either you will love or hate what I just put out there. I make no apologies for what I believe and am tired of us “Conservative Christian” types getting OUR rights trampled all over. We will not be silent.

 However, I hope and pray you know that today YOU ARE LOVED. By me and by our Lord and Savior most of all. .

I will end with this quote I came across this morning and really struck home with me:

“We are far worse than we ever imagined and far more loved than we could ever dream.” (Tim Keller)

Kidnapped!

This is a true story. A true story about me–ON my wedding day.

I’m writing this, not as a serious piece or wannabe public service announcement, but to make you have a little chuckle at my expense.

You see, today is my 14th wedding anniversary.

Ah, the memories…

Here’s the things that stick out most in my mind when I think back on my wedding day:

It was hot. REALLY hot (just like today!). And humid.

The church we were married in was small and not air conditioned. Plus we were brainiacs and chose to get married at 2 in the afternoon on a mid-July day. Why not, right?

While I was waiting for my “big moment” after getting my wedding dress on, I waited in a basement room of the church, parked in front of a box fan with my dress hiked up over my knees. I was such a classy bride. Somehow a photo of this did not make it into our wedding album.

When my handsome groom was repeating his vows, I focused on a droplet of sweat that was making its way down his nose and hung on the end of it. Oh, and a fly buzzing around his head. Not because I’m shallow or  flippant about my marriage, but because I was nervous about being in front of the crowd watching us. Something to focus on, you know?

Apparently he was just as nervous because when ring time rolled around, he was trying to put his ring on me. Um, it was way too big. Finally we figured it out and put the correct ones on each other. See, I told you we were brainiacs.

Since our reception was outside under a big rented tent, my wonderful parents had arranged for buckets of water ice to be available as a snack while we had our pictures done. People LOVED this idea. You know, in that awkward time span after a wedding while you’re waiting for the real food to start.

During cake time we were so NOT nice and sweet. Somehow I ended up with wedding cake up in my eye. A picture of this is in our wedding album. We kissed afterwards, so it’s all good.

After the cake and all that stuff, we were just about getting ready to go in, get changed into real clothes, and finally leave for our honeymoon. Just at that moment, my Aunt Beverly called us over to tell us something. That’s when the kidnapping occurred.

Yep, it’s really true. I was actually kidnapped on my wedding day.

Now, before I tell anymore, I have to explain a little more about who kidnapped me. To fully appreciate the story, you have to get a word picture of my uncles.

My Dad comes from a long line of farmers. So, pretty much 95% of his family is involved with farming somehow. And, at 6’6″, my Dad is the “little” one of his brothers. They’re both just about that tall, but much bigger than him. Not fat, just big and burly and farm-boy strong. They also have always had the mountain man beards going on, sorta like these guys.

Duck Dynasty stars 660 AP

Anyway, are you getting a picture in your head?

Good, because here’s what happened next….

My Aunt Beverly calls us over. At that moment, a friend of ours (also extremely big and burly) grabs my new husband from behind. I was all like “What the…?” when I feel myself being lifted up by my elbows and see my Uncle Wayne on one side and my Uncle Frog (his real name’s Bob, by the way but I’ve always known him as Frog) on the either side of me, both with an iron grip on my arms. They half toss me (only because they’re super strong;)) into my Uncle Frog’s farm pickup. “Well Raquel Welch, (that’s been Frog’s nickname for me since I was little. I have no idea why, other than the fact that my name’s Rachel. Rachel, Raquel.He also calls my Dad Jesse James and my brother Honky Baloney. Everyone gets a cool nickname in this family.) we’re going to go for a ride.” Before I know it, we’re pulling out the parking lot of the church, and I still have no earthly clue what’s going on.

If you had a good picture of what Uncle Frog looks like, I’m sure you can imagine his pickup. Yes, my friends, I spent a small part of my wedding day sitting crunched (in my wedding dress on a 98 degree day, no less) between my mountain man uncles, gear shift in between my knees, and old Mountain Dew and green Skoal cans rolling around my feet. Oh, and baler twine and straw flapping around the back.

See, I told you I was a classy bride.

Anyhow, they start driving around the back roads near the church that I was married in, discussing crops and the weather like they hadn’t just snatched a newly married bride a mere 5 minutes before. I still had no idea what the heck was happening, but since I’m usually an easy going person, I was rolling with it. After a few miles, they looped back around to the church parking lot. They slow down and drive by the reception tent, where I see the guy who had held down my groom with a microphone in his hand.

“Did they get enough money yet?” one of my uncles hollers out the rolled-down window. “Nope, keep driving!” the other guy yells back. I also see my husband with a hat in his hand and a miffed expression on his face. Okay, so I’m starting to get a clue now. Apparently I’m being held for ransom. Why, I have no idea. But all of our wedding guests look like they’re enjoying themselves (as much as you can on such a hot day), so I guess it’s all some kind of big joke.

After more riding around and discussing farming, we pulled back around to the church and they were informed that I could be released now. I hop out of the truck in my wedding dress and see what’s up.

So, I guess my man had to go around and ask the guests for money to buy back his bride, then they planned to give us the money to spend on our honeymoon. My poor husband, who is very proud, especially when it comes to money, was mortified. Every time my uncles see him, they still love to tease him about it.

Right after this happened, and even for months afterward when the subject of our wedding comes up, people thought we were somehow in on their plan.  A couple of people were like, “Rachel, you must be a good actress, because you looked really surprised.” Um, that’s because I WAS. Definitely no acting going on here.

So, there you have it folks. How I was kidnapped on my wedding day. It’s a pretty funny memory, and our kids just recently heard the story.

A day that will live in infamy. Ha ha, not really.

wedding pic 002

This picture was snapped a little while after, when we really WERE leaving for our honeymoon. This is one of my absolute favorite wedding day pictures. I’m sure we were like “Finally!”

Thanks for tuning in, and try to keep cool!

Rachel

PS-And they lived happily ever after.